December 11th 2018
Mirror and Guide
Reading again some of the letters I have sent you, I have remembered that relationship is what heals. The relationship is the most important element in the work for empowerment with young people; and in this relationship there’s a central element: Recognition.
Everything I do with young people, and I hope I will be able to do better every day, is to allow them to recognize themselves. Every conversation I have with them, every psychotherapy task I make them carry out with advanced techniques, exercises and readings, are all mirrors so that they can see themselves.
During the conversations, tasks, readings and exercises, they put themselves “in relation to”. This “in relation to” is what allows reflection, meaning to turn in ourselves and analyse. Here is where lies self-recognition, and by default, recognition to others (a person or a thing).
As I read the book of Abdul Karim Baudino, “everything that surrounds you are the mirrors that allow you to get to know yourself.” Or like that prayer of the Being: “The others and the events are angels and miracles evoked by you in your journey to fulfillment”. And I feel like that every day.
During the theatre classes I conduct for young people that want to get the monitor title, we do an exercise called The Mirror. One person is in front of
another, and this person has to imitate everything the other does. The key is that the one that’s imitating has to be as relaxed as possible to be able to capture as many details as possible. The better they imitate, the better the other person can see himself.
There is another aspect in this relationship with young people. The first one, the one I just talked about, deals with the relationship as recognition, where the attitude with the person is passive (actively passive). The second one is the relationship as a guide, where the attitude is active (active but relaxed). A lot of times, after walking through some of the corners in the person’s soul and having mapped it, the question I get asked is “what do I do now?” So they are expecting something from me and that
confirms that they have come for my help. Whatever I say to them, I’m acting as a reference.
If I’m paying close attention to the way they interact with me, I can perceive clearly the role they look in me. So I’m aware of it and I play it in an invisible way for them; I emphasise the paternal, fraternal or specialist aspects depending on the moment. Evidently, the setting of therapist-patient relationship is the guide of the relationship at every moment, but subtly those characters arise (it is fascinating the way our psyques work).
I wanted to share
these thoughts with you.