January 4th, 2019
When we speak, as adults, teenagers, or kids, we assume that the other can understand us. We interpret what we say is comprehensible to the one that’s listening, and we rarely pay attention to the how and when we do it. (…) The teengaer usually answers without thinking much, in a less conscious and more impulsive way. (…) Many times the alternatives to the answers given in similar situations are unknown to them because they haven’t internalized yet other forms of communication that sound “less aggressive” or “passive.” (…) To me, an empowered person is able to choose the type of answer they give, according to the objective that they are
aiming for (be that getting into a fight, not getting involved in anything, or simply be more assertive avoiding a possible conflict).
The empowered person doesn’t just stay with one answer but is capable of choosing what answer they give because they have the skills and abilities to do it, and therefore, they can adapt more or less properly to the situations that they may encounter. Also, the possibility to know what to choose implies that there is a higher degree of autonomy in the teenager, since he/she is able to solve or manage situations with different alternatives, and sometimes be able to avoid the intervention of an adult.
If you ask them why they gave that answer, usually they tell you “I’m just like that”, when in reality it’s because
they haven’t integrated other ways to answer or communicate, and they use that as “justification” or simply because they don’t know what to say. That’s why I tell them to think about what would have happened if they had answered differently, and I give them examples. Sometimes they don’t find the answers or they can sense where I’m going, so they give me the answer that is more appropriate to me, from an adult perspective. I wanted to write about this way of learning social skills because I think that the more social skills we have, the more able we are to be empowered, since there are more cognitive processes and more skills to develop that intervene.
(…) Another form of young people empowerment is based on imitation, the
same way children do in their first development stages, I think that young people are still learning more complex processes by imitation, just as adults do.