May 17th, 2019
The doorbell

The doorbell of a building, often with many floors, is an iconic element that I would use to define my work in the Medi Obert project at Figueres.

When meeting with a young boy or girl, on my way to his place, I think about the last times we met, and how things are. I try to remember what we said the last time and if there’s anything that we need to talk about…

Sometimes I have a lot of things in my head and I feel loaded with elements that I have to compare. Which ones? In which way do I have to do it so it turns into something positive, not negative?

For example, when I’m told that there’s been a strong argument at home, and I have one or more versions, I go to their house comparing information.

First, I try to understand what happened by reviewing what I know and by deducing what they haven’t told me. The purpose of that is to bring the subject, approaching it from a perspective that has the more positive outcome for all.

When there’s a problem, sometimes I have to stand more on one side than the other. Sometimes I have to try to offer a different approach to the conflict for everyone. Sometimes I simply have to look for elements of reconciliation and sometimes I don’t have an idea of what to do and I go there expecting to be able to understand it at the moment and

improvise trying, at least, not to mess it up even more.

Many other times I’m on my way to their houses very calmed, thinking about myself or distracted with the traffic, being aware that I know the family and that maybe they look forward to seeing me. Aware that once inside their home, things will come, so we can talk and act.
When I arrive at their home and I face the doorbell, there’s a moment in which my mind goes blank forever. I give up all the thoughts that were with me until then, and I am there for that boy or girl. Sometimes I improvise completely and others I improvise but having in mind some subjects that I want to discuss, talk about or do.

I suppose that since it’s a concrete

action, ringing the doorbell, that happens every time I meet with a kid, this has become a really representative element. 

At the beginning of getting to know a kid, when I go to their place, they have a hard time imagining what I want to do. A lot of days I have to break the work structure and improvise. First, I have to see what they expect from me. If the first day they already want to make the most of my visit, if they suggest an action, something they want to talk about to improve their situation, parents, teenagers, the relationship between them…

Sometimes they break what I thought I was going to do that day, and I let them do it.

Most times after meeting with a family, I ask the kid if he/she wants to go for a walk or play on the street, football, basketball (I always carry balls in my car) or table tennis (I always carry two rackets in my backpack)… As it is the first or one of the first visits, the aim is to make them like me and show them I’m trustworthy. And of course, there are no manuals on how to be liked by someone, and people that try it too hard, you know, are morons.

Therefore, seeing how the kid is, you can make the effort of being interested in things that maybe you don’t care much, but without pushing too far. You can’t be fake. They will notice it and then it will be very hard to gain their trust. Also it’s a matter of luck, and the way they feel more comfortable with.

It’s difficult because when you arrive and they are already biased. They might not want to meet you because they have this idea that you are an inspector, a controller, that you seem good but in reality you want to know things and you won’t be able to help. Sometimes they feel lazy to explain their things because they have had conversations with fifty thousand other professionals and they’re tired of meeting people that don’t solve anything. And sometimes they just don’t like. I don’t know.

With the ones I gain their trust, I do it pretending some kind of disinterest at the beginning, like if I went to meet them carefree, with no preconceived ideas of what’s going on or how it is. I’m simply a guy who arrives, plays and talks like them.

When they get to know me, if after two days of playing they don’t bring things up, I start pulling the strings of what I already know, the reasons why they were referred to me.

Sometimes there are a few that “rejoice” from their misery, and I have to know when it’s the right time to not give it too much importance. Sometimes play it down if necessary. What’s very important is to play down the story, looking for other ways to see the situation. So that at least they can find other perspectives, being in the shoes of other people that intervene in their squabble, and diversify thoughts and feelings around that.

Illustration: Stephen England