March 9th 2019
Santiago de Compostela,
completely cloudy.
Illustrating empowerment
Today I’m sharing with you a situation where I think I have helped a young person to feel empowered. The case I want to talk to you about is the one of a 23-year-old young woman. She came to me because she was going through depression that had arisen in the context of her relationship with her partner. The general picture was that she was lost in all of her vital aspects: vocation, partner, residence, self-identity, control of her emotions, life prospects… So I started working with her bringing some order. To bring order is one of the most healing things there is in therapeutic work.
Bringing order in her family relationships, in her professional interests and vocation, in her friendships and in the reality of the town she lived in (she used to live there, but not anymore, which is an indicator of her evolution through this therapeutic work). While bringing some order, I was trying to give her some empathy favoring a space and time where she would feel heard, respected and supported.
With this understandings and with patience, she made the decisions that are, in my opinion, the indicator that she is moving towards her empowerment. The first decision was to tidy up her room. It could be considered a trivial thing, but the order in the place she lives talks, in a symbolic way, of how she is on the inside.
Another decision she made was to buy a second-hand car, which would allow her to have more independence. At a symbolic level, having her own car meant that she can take control of her life, being self-sufficient, and not to depend on her father’s or brother’s car.
She made an interesting remark not so long ago: “I feel way worse than a year ago (living in her old town), but I feel more free.” Well, she is in the middle of an emotional desintoxication, which is allowing her to know more inner spaces. These changes have occurred gradually over a year working with her. There is still a lot to cover, but she has taken the first steps and, as she puts it, “there is no turning back.”
In general, the backdrop that some of
the young people I work with have is leaving home, finding meaning to their professional orientation, looking for job opportunities that allow them to have financial independence, solving toxic relationships with partners or family, or taking care of their physiological needs.
In my work, I make sure that I combine what I call the external and internal routes. In the external route we find aspects from the place we live and work, our vocation, health, and social relationships. The internal route consists of the attitudes, and emotional and cognitive reactions with which they face the external route.
We keep sharing these thoughts.