December 14th, 2018
He has a new job
Today I have met again with the young man I talked to you about in the other letter. When I saw him, he looked cleaner, he was smiling and conveying wellbeing. When I told him this, he said that indeed, he was getting out of the hole he had been all these years and that now he felt that the sky was clearing up, that he was starting a better moment. I asked him the reason or motivation that led him to this change and the first one was the change in his job.
He told me that what we’d seen and talked about during the past sessions has helped him a lot, and that he has become more aware of his own inner dynamic.
That is why, he said, “I now enjoy this new job and at the same time, I’m aware that with time the crisis will come back, but I have learned that the sun hides above the clouds. Now I have the experience of getting out of a hole that has lasted many years. When I was in that hole, I never thought possible that I would get out, that it would have an end, but now I know that there is one, and that for me is very important to learn how to trust.”
At this point I have sensed two things: The first one is that the experience is a great teacher, and it has its moments. That’s why patience is good; the second one, that experience has to be accompanied, so we can take from it good lessons, and it’s at this point that therapy is useful. These changes around
the patient prove that a change in our inner attitude has consequences in a person’s lifestyle. That is why it is fundamental in therapy, as well as in education, to favor attitude changes and perspective changes.
In this sense, we have talked about contraction and expansion states. In contraction, we have to make the effort to hold it and decipher what we are supposed to learn (and that are mainly values: Patience, sense of humor, modesty…).
In expansion, we have to relax (something we still have to learn, more so nowadays!) and not to forget that, just like its sibling contraction, this one is also temporary.
In the end, the right attitude,
both in contraction and expansion phases, is to be centered. Being as centered and connected as possible to the peace that lies beneath the waves. And this can only be achieved by practicing presence.
I hope his control over
his life keeps improving.