November 22nd 2018
Reencounter
Today I want to talk to you again about the 27-year-old man who works in the audiovisual field.
We had agreed that he was going to work on his vocation and career with an ethnographic documentary. The homework I asked him for the next session, which happened this week, was for him to make a brief draft. […] He didn’t bring anything. […] I thought: Well, he didn’t bring anything, let’s work on that “nothing” that he brought.
We talked and, with the help of a test, we saw that he lives through his work, that is, the value of his life is on his work.
He has difficulties seeing and feeling good about himself, he even struggles to understand what it means to “be with yourself.”
Excluding his role as worker, the rest of the areas in his life have been ignored. That’s why he has problems taking on other social roles, such as son, friend or partner; the corporal neglect he is at right now (a great inattention of his physiological needs); the disconnection from his emotions and feelings (he lives with them in a confused manner); the disconnection from his vocation (he doesn’t know the profound meaning of his role in this world), etc.
What happens to him is something very common in our present society: many people live through their work and forget
that besides being workers they are also living beings with other vital dimensions.
The result: Anxiety, angst, depression, and skyrocket sales of drugs.
Coming to this point in the analysis, we went a bit deeper, and we had a look at the possible relationship between his current situation and his relationship with his family.
To do this, we turned to the representation of his family system with Playmobils. This technique consists of picking dolls that represent him, his father, his mother, his siblings (if he has) and his four grandparents, and putting them on the table in the order he wants. From this representation, we “play” with their meaning.
I love this technique because it allows energy to come to the surface from his unconscious. The representation he creates is the inner mental image he has regarding his family, and it reveals some of the dynamics that are happening at an unconscious level.
I compare this information with the test and his testimony, and it’s surprising the level of accuracy it has.

Conclusion: What’s happening to him at work (he sinks because he doesn’t feel acknowledged by his boss on an aspect that he considers a pillar in his life) it’s only an old pattern, that is: The search for his mother’s, and to a lesser degree his father’s, appreciation. This search is reflected on the outside, in his social interactions.
If he’s acknowledged, he feels good; if he gets criticized, he sinks. He needs to develop his own value. How?
We will keep working on this through a Socratic method, test analysis, representations, visualizations, etc. But, before all that, and this is key for therapeutic healing, from sharing a quality moment to listen and accept him, where he can pour all his pain, from rejection, neglect, that have left a big
affective hole within himself. That’s the key of all healing: Being treated with love, so that we can see ourselves with love and see others with love as well.